#AdviceColumn: How to Get a Potential Employer to Look Past a 10-year Work Gap?

First off, thank you for your service, both in the Navy and in office. I wish I could say your story surprised me, but it's one that is very familiar. Women all across the country have had analogous experiences, and it comes down to a variety of pregnancy discrimination. If I close my eyes and pretend, I can see exactly what (wrongly) makes you an "unattractive candidate." They look at your resume and what do they see? Not a wildly qualified woman with years of experience in demanding, high-impact roles, but a mom who has already "ducked" out of the workforce once before and can be expected to do so again. Flatly, it's wrong.

I've heard countless stories of managers reminding their female employees that their husbands have jobs, and maybe they should focus on the kids right now.

Pregnancy discrimination and the motherhood penalty are extremely well-documented, and I'd encourage you to do your own research, but the gist of it is simple: they think we're flakes. A woman with a wedding ring looks to so many hiring managers as a short-term hire looking for a long-term role. Why, the thinking goes, should they invest time, energy, and money in you when you're just going to leave the moment you have a kid? Sometimes all it takes is even the mention of a boyfriend. And for women returning to the workforce like you? Well, clearly your job won't be your "top priority." In many a misguided mind, your Navy service just doesn't outweigh the fact that you're a mom with kids.